When Spiritual Transformation Frightens
interview by N J Howell
Want to learn more about the role of the energetic healing facilitator? I offer a free email series called Healing Journey about the demands and responsiblities of working as a healing facilitator.
The journey story you are about to read emerged from communications with one woman who signed up for the series and then emailed me regarding her resonance with the material she was receiving. As I began reading her email, I realized she was voicing issues and struggles that I've had myself and that I've heard about from other women seeking spiritual acceleration and healing. Because I felt her story would be helpful to others, I asked her permission to post our dialogue and she graciously agreed. Her identity is kept private due to the personal nature of what is being shared.
Shifting from Fear to Faith
Related article: What is a Spiritual Empath?
This the journey of one woman seeking to shift her consciousness and move into action as a spiritual being in her life. It is the spiritual journey of one woman; perhaps a woman like you. Seeking to shift her paradigm from fear to clarity of purpose, she reaches out in questioning faith and together, she and I affirm that teaching which says asking the right questions is more important than knowing all the answers.
Spiritual Journey Woman:
I am drawn to your experience and can especially appreciate the level of sensitivity you have in attending to the subtleties of respect for a "patients'" pace of healing and your role in that process. This says a lot about who you are as a healer. My life has been about self-healing and I have always been aware of this, at some level. Among other lessons... I spent many years in one of my most challenging intimate relationship. Hellish times, indeed. My lesson... learn to trust myself and my keen intuition - not words and outward appearances. I also had to have the courage to escape what had become a very ominous scenario. All this, while caring for my children... the moment I left, I was freed. The experience left me like a puff of smoke, put physical healing was needed.
There were more lessons after that one, but none so intense. The clearing that remained paled in comparison to the big span of time before I left. Then, spirit took hold. Gradually, leading me back to the path that actually started when I was much younger. When I was young I practiced Hindu and Buddhist disciplines and reached a stage of awareness that scared the b' Jesus out of me. I recoiled and experienced a dark night of the soul and spent the next couple of years recreating a familiar reality. I thought I had escaped, when in fact spirit took me and placed me in the hellish marriage described above. Some task-master, huh?
Anyway. Today, much to my surprise, I remarried. Blessed with a new husband who is a wonderfully respectful and loving man. He supports me emotionally and spiritually and is carrying the financial burden for me right now so that I can get my footing in a new direction. (Spirit at work, again.)
I supported myself previously through a career in which I always felt like a fish out of water. However, having learned to live simultaneous realities, by virtue of my first marriage, I was able to pull-off both personas pretty well. Career woman by day, metaphysical junkie on the side - but nary the two did meet... until the time came when I could no longer live in that skin.
I look forward to working with your Reiki messages and I am interested in a phone consultation (at some point in time) so that you can perhaps "take my pulse". I am still blocked. I can't quite latch onto and hold true self at the depth of intensity required to move forward with confidence. Move forward to where, I'm not sure... but that seems secondary to breaking through this barrier.
The block could be subconscious fear that I will need to leave behind what I have in my life, right now. But I think there's more to it than that. I sense there is something for me right here that I can't get to...
Sometimes, people need their pain more than they need healing. It takes time for the Spirit of such a person to agree to let go of pain that has been, in some way, serving a strong ego or personality self need. The healer must be patient and know that each soul is in command of it's own destiny.
Healing Facilitation Response:
I admire the courage you displayed in working with the reality you co-created with your spouse. I had lessons that were, perhaps, similar in my 7-year spiritual marriage.
In your email, one paragraph stood out for me as a meditation option. I feel the most appropriate time to schedule a phone consult would be after you completed the Healing Journey series and would be happy to do that. I charge $25 for phone consultations as long as they don't go over 45 minutes or so. I would suggest meditation on this sentence you wrote, in particular the words I have bolded:
"I am still blocked. I can't quite latch onto and hold true self at the depth of intensity required to move forward with confidence. Move forward to where, I'm not sure... but that seems secondary to breaking through this barrier."
What if you simply cannot move forward with confidence? How does that thought feel in your body, and I don't want a reply by email. I want you to meditate on that because, in that answer, lies your fear of progress.
I wonder if you'd mind my sharing your story, annonymously? I believe your journey may strengthen others who are going through what you went through.
About My Wellness Services: My consultations are not, in any way, meant to replace needed medical or mental health evaluation, testing, medication or treatment that may also be indicated. I offer spiritual guidance to those who realize they are spiritual beings having a human experience and that the physical and emotional bodies can be impacted by that experience. Email consultations of the depth that you read here require a personal investment of my time so, at some natural point in the evolution of working together, an energy exchange of some kind may be in order.