by N J Howell
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About the Dream: This is one of those disturbing dreams that I consider so valuable. I believe we create unforgettable dream scenarios when our subconscious wants us to get something so badly that it wants to make sure we remember the dream.
In this dream, I am sitting in a room, with members of my family. I am getting ready to go to church (which I haven't done for years (when people ask me where I go to church I say I go to church wherever I am). When I get to church, I understand that I will be given two injections that will kill me.
I am making the choice to take the injections because because my mom has told me that the doctor said I had an incurable disease and that if I didn't do this, I'd die a terrible, agonizing and drawn out death. I am looking at myself in the mirror then, and decide that I won't wear make up. I don't want to meet God made up. I want to meet God natural.
Then, I am back on the couch and I ask my mom if there is something she isn't telling me about all this.
She says "of course there is" and it is said with compassion.
Then, through some kind of telepathic interpretation of all their faces looking at me, I realize that they are working desperately to spare me the horrible death the doctor has predicted. They would rather I went peacefully, at the church today, than to see me go through that.
I suddenly decide and say "I am not going to do this". I want to know who the doctor is because I want to hear it all. As I decide this and get up from the couch, I am also aware of fear. Can I hear all that this doctor has to say about my future and not go into so much fear that I succumb to this "easy way out"?
MY TAKE ON THE DREAM SO FAR:
This dream directly relates to a struggle I've had since 2001, to transform my life into a life of flow and release old ways of being. I am facing a true spiritual death and transformation decision and it appears that time has run out on waiting to make it.
Having two choices points to my lifelong struggle with living in duality. Finding that middle path, in between things, in the space where there is nothing and the potential for everything, has been a lifelong striving.
Duality says it's either bad or good. Well, in 3-d that often translates to bad or worse! Sometimes, the hardest thing to do is see the option that isn't being offered at the level of 3-d awareness.
I have only just barely begun to work with this dream so I will be updating it later on but wanted to post it while it was fresh in my mind this morning.
It is helpful to refer back to your most potent dreams, even after you have initially interpreted their meaning.
I've reviewed dreams later to find that, from the awareness gained at the first pass, the dream could yield even more gifts of clarity and understanding later. This is the value of a dream journal, whether online as this one is, or on paper.
This dream message has been updated! Since posting the original dream interpretation, I have updated what I feel this dream was trying to teach me. Click here for the medicine dream update