Dreams About Death / Dreams About Your Family / Dreams About Religion
by N J Howell
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We now interrupt this dream...
This is an update to an earlier dream about death and family in dreams. To understand what is written below, please first read the original posting dream of choosing death
Update to dream, after being with it for a while:
One aspect of the dream that has come to my attention this morning is my decision, in the dream, not to wear make up. A made up face is an invention. I feel, in many ways, as if I've invented my life up til now. I've grabbed onto beliefs, followed directions based on some need or the other of the ego to feel stable and "on purpose". I've made up my life for 50 years and now I'm deciding to let go of all the make up and meet God, the God of my knowing, unmade.
In my own life, I have been intensely involved with shifting just about everything about my experience up til now. For the past few years, I've lived a mostly isolated life. I've struggled with literally every aspect of who I am and I believe, in this dream, I finally made a rather monumental decision. I decided I didn't want to meet God made up.
The other aspect of the dream that still puzzle me is the choice I faced and the decision I made. I could either accept the two injections which would kill me, presumably fast, peacefully and easily, or I could refuse. My choice was to refuse what appears in the dream to be "the easy way out."
When I told this dream to a friend of mine who also works with her dreamtime in a spiritual way, she felt that my family was there in support of a decision to release my old life, experience the spiritual death of that, and be reborn. If her interpretation (which I've paraphrased thru the lens of my interpretation of it)is correct, then I made the choice to resist transformation when I told my mother I wasn't going to do it. In my own mind, I did not reach the same conclusion as my friend.
In every day life, right now on a physical level, I am living in the town I grew up in. I am very close, in physical proximity, to most of my birth family members. I am also near the church of my youth, which is where I was to go in the dream for the injections. My experience, even as an adolescent, in that church was oppressive. The frequency there was limiting and often relying on guilt or shame to motivate. I heard more about the perils of hell and the virtues of heaven than I did about living passionately and with joy in the now.
I have put my home up for sale and intend to leave here. It's the second time I've done so. The first time, I sold my house and then bought another right down the road. Shortly after doing so, my neighbor built three huge chicken houses across the road from my new space. The universe is telling me I must leave yet I'm still here.
I know in my heart that there is a spiritual community waiting for me somewhere and I know, in order to find them, I have to release what I have here......the illusion of security that owning my own home and being close to family members who would rush to my aid if I needed anything, and be somewhere else. So, to me, the dream seemed to point more to the lure of what I've always known numbing me into a spiritual death or breaking lose, finding the doctor (physician, heal thyself) and getting the whole truth about myself, even if it meant my spiritual death and transformation might be difficult, painful, even agonizing.