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....Healthy Anger Management
How do we express anger in a healthy way?

© 2006, Neva J Howell, All Rights Reserved, Updated 2007
Question on healing: How do I express anger in a healthy way? I don't know how to do that without being mean or hateful toward others, exploding in destructive rage, or imploding in self-destructive silence.

Healing facilitation response: The healthy expression of anger seems to be an almost universal challenge. Afterall, we don't see very many positive examples in the media and a lot of us don't see positive examples in our home.

Something that has helped me is the proper use of "righteous indignation". If you are like me, when you hear that phrase it doesn't conjure up a positive image. Righteous indignation is a term often used to describe pompous behavior by self-righteous teachers and leaders.

Growing up in the Church of Christ, I heard preachers speak more than once about the time when Jesus threw the moneychangers out of the temple. I've also seen portraits depicting that event. There always seems to be a sense of someone ranting and raving about a situation that is wrong.

I came to a different understanding of those words in my own struggle with expressing anger in a constructive way. For me, righteous indignation means standing in your truth empowered by what is righteous to correctly challenge an unholy situation.

The way I envision that scene is somewhat different.

Though there may have been a flinging of things, I believe Jesus walked into that temple empowered, calm, and righteously indignant in a balanced way. His intent would not have been to express rage, but to restore the holy.

The Power of Righteous Indignation

How righteous indignation has helped me with my own anger struggles: When I am faced with an unholy situation (this can range from someone treating me badly in a store to someone abusing me verbally, mentally, emotionally, or physically), I take a moment to summon righteous indignation.

What that means for me is that I don't act immediately if I can possibly help it. The knee-jerk and instant reaction to unholy situations is almost always from the ego or personality self.

By shifting my attention to calling in a higher response, a holy response, I allow my ego self to surrender.

When I am able to do this, what I hear coming out of my mouth is often a surprise to me and not what would have been said had I spoke from the ego.

I believe that lifting our anger higher insures that God will back us. Jesus, although a solitary man, probably looked like an army walking into that temple. He looked that way because his indignation was righteous.

What is the goal of anger management?

The goal of anger management is to reduce both your emotional feelings and the physiological arousal that anger causes.

That means you learn to manage both how you feel and how your body reacts to what you feel, emotionally. Biofeedback is one way to help reduce the habitual responses you have to anger. A good mental health counselor can provide other helpful ways to stem the tide of reaction that can lead to inappropriate responses of anger.

We can't just get rid of, or avoid, the things or the people that enrage us, nor can we change them, but we can learn to control our reactions. We can train out mind to think and respond in a different way to feelings of and expression of anger.

Do you need anger management counseling?

If you feel that your anger is really out of control, if it is having an impact on your relationships and on important parts of your life, you might consider counseling to learn how to handle it better. A psychologist or other licensed mental health professional can work with you in developing a range of techniques for changing your thinking and your behavior. Source: APA Online

Mental Health Disclaimer: Anger management issues should be addressed carefully as a mental health imbalance. The information contained in this health care / spiritual healing article on anger management is educational in nature and not presented as a substitute for any needed mental health evaluation or counseling. Any action taken based on the contents found in this or any educational health information on askahealer.com is at the sole discretion of the reader. Please consult with your chosen mental health professional on matters relating to your mental health.