Why I Won't Be Relocating to T or C - Hard Won Discernment in Truth or Consequences, New Mexico
by N J Howell
This is part of a series of articles about a trip I made to T or C, New Mexico. In part one, I talked about taking a quiz online. The quiz was designed, through a series of questions about personal preferences, to determine the very best place on the planet for a person to live. My place was T or C. In the first part of this article, I talked about the hot springs spa I stayed in while there, which was the Charles Spa. Part two was a sort of brief hot springs spa review, covering some of the other spas I visited while in Truth or Consequences. This final page talks a bit about the spiritual environment, my challenge to clarify and discern and my final decision on relocation, which is the main reason I went in the first place.
I was surprised to see that foot reflexology was popular in T or C. Also Reiki. In fact, at the time I visited T or C there were 126 Reiki practitioners in that one county. That's a lot of Lightworkers.
Initially, T or C felt like heaven to me. It wasn't until about the third day that I realized that the reason was the pervasive energy of the hot springs and quartz crystals directly underfoot. Whenever I moved off the main street where all the spas and lodges were, I felt quite different. It took a while to get clear on what I was feeling because I felt so good while on that main street.
Strangely, I felt an unpleasant underbelly to T or C, despite all those Reiki practitioners and reflexologists. The fifth day I was there, I met a local who confirmed that she was leaving town for the same reason. There was a gathering here of Lightworkers, yes....and there was another gathering. As I wandered off the main street, T or C felt like a place where the haunted and hiding might flock.
Despite it's reputation as a healing town, I did not personally resonate with the vibration of the town as a whole. I met some good people, in particular a drumming circle I attended. Wendy (part of this circle) wasn't at the drumming circle I attended but visit her blog for a taste of the pioneer Spirit in T or C: Holy Scrap Hot Springs.
Yes, good people with high ideas and far more physical stamina and determination than I to bring a new reality into existence through sheer determination and effort. I saw that. I've lived most of my life working too hard so the idea of stepping into that sort of life did not resonate either.
Along with the good and the light and the pioneer Spirits, I glimpsed many others who were hiding, running, haunted and even in the dark side of energy.
Like cardboard stand ups, there often appeared to be no one behind the body or, maybe, in the body. I'd be talking to someone and feel as if I were talking to a doll, or robot. Very bizarre.
All this made me wonder why T or C would have been the town, based on my own answers to the online quiz, that I would have seemed best suited to five years ago.
I got part of my answer when I was walking down the street one day. I glanced across the street just as a woman on the opposite side glanced sideways at me. Her eyes were as haunted as any I've ever seen. In a flash, I saw that she was the me that would have been there five years ago. It was like walking over my own grave. Very spooky and disorienting moment.
Looking back five years ago, I also saw another reason I might have felt at home in T or C then. I was a Reiki Master at the time and, like so many in the healing field, I seemed able to help everyone but myself.
It was a time when I was focused a lot on healing my body, releasing the tensions and stress, the aches and pains of my body; healing at a physical level. The hot springs would have been a powerful draw for me.
I was using my body and the pain it held as a way to focus myself on survival, a state I knew well. It was a reversion to the days of my youth and a massive step away from soul evolution. Thank God I didn't stay in that downward spiral and thank God I didn't go to T or C 5 years ago. Like a plush, cozy blanket infused in poison, I may have lulled myself to sleep for the rest of my life.
It was also a time in my life when most of the dreams I thought I wanted had come and gone. I was at a loss. I was in danger of becoming both the haunted and the hiding. T or C may have provided the perfect environment for me to accomplish both objectives but that wasn't in the highest interest of my soul.
In any case, Truth or Consequences would have been a mistake for me five years ago so I'm glad I didn't go until I had the discernment to recognize the unhealthy components to the energy I'd be walking in there. I lived my entire childhood and have lived huge hunks of my adult life in struggle, pain, suffering and sadness. At this time in my life, I'm seeking the new way, the softer way, the more gentle transformation.
And I'm not saying that would be true for everyone. It was my experience. Basically, I'm left feeling that places such as T or C will either plunge you into the darkest dark or purify you like gold. I feel I went through a spiritual awakening there about the nature of energy and the importance of full presence, discernment and embodiment. I came away from T or C far more aware of the ways I, too, hide from others and from myself. Face to face with the choice to live a haunted life or a free one, I chose again freedom.