Ask A Healer Inner Child Healing Series
How to heal the past and childhood's emotional wounds
© by N J Howell, All Rights Reserved
Spiritual Wellness: Dealing with Hypersensitivity
Distancing the Manifestation, Part Two. This is part two of an article. If arriving here
directly, please read part one first
If you have read part one of this spiritual wellness article and recognize that you are distancing the manifestation
in your own life right now, here are some helpful tips for getting the most out of the path your soul has chosen to take toward
healing the past
Refuse to be a victim: The number one tip for healing unresolved wounds from the past is to reach a point of releasing victim consciousness and all martyr thinking.
Take responsibility for having co-created with others exactly this situation for some reason your soul and higher self knows.
Allow it to be ok if you do not know what reason your soul had for this creation.
Simply reminding yourself, in an empowering way daily, that you are a sovereign master, will help shift victim thinking over time.
Remember when You are:
Remind yourself daily that this is not the past repeating, regardless of how much it looks that way to you.
Remember that you have different options now, and that things are not the same as they used to be though the illusion may be that they are the same.
These sorts of spiritual exercises may sound like symantics but it's vital that you remind yourself, out loud if necessary, that this is a play. You are an
actor re-creating a scene so that you can learn from it what you didn't get the first time. Simply reminding yourself of this will help shift victim thinking over time.
Break the pattern of programmed reactions:
Use the opportunity to heal your
past, by choosing not to react, today, in the same ways you may have reacted years ago. Make this shift by becoming clear of your past patterns of reaction so that you recognize
them when you attempt to react the same way in present situations that remind you of the past.
Change the only person you can change:
Work at being
proactive, not reactive. This means keeping the attention on yourself and what the other person is triggering
in you, rather than on them and why they are choosing to do the things they do. This means that you literally
monitor your need to react and track it to the source, often the past, and learn to make different choices based
on who you are and what you want in the present.
When you have successfully
broken the habit of reaction, the person will begin to be ineffective in attempting to trigger you into any
Often, this shift in the energy is enough to move the person out of your life because
without a partner to play the emotional response game, it cannot be effectively played.
Let there be no
judgment of past work. This isn't the same lesson repeating; it is a deeper level of soul work. Honor the
work you've already done and consider it the foundation for the next level. Falling into self-critical, negative
self-talk is counter-productive to healing the past.
Get Energetic Help:
Energy work is helpful with all aspects of spiritual acceleration and healing childhood trauma or patterns of victim thinking stemming from the past is no acception. Reiki healing sessions, massage, chakra balancing and meditation classes can all help as well as spiritually-centered exercise programs such as yoga, qigong or tai chi. .
There are also healers who specialize in balancing the chakras so, in addition to your own work and programs
to help with that, you might consider seeking a color therapist.
One note on movement: As a spiritual healer, I've long recognized that memories get stored at a cellular, molecular level in the body. Spiritually focused movement
can facilitate the release of cellular memory.
So, just doing yoga or tai chi with the spiritual intent of healing the past can help the body do that faster, and more
smoothly than leaving movement out of your spiritual focus.
What if you are distancing the manifestation for someone else?
Of course, there may be times when it is you who find yourself thrust into the life of one of your spouse's
relatives, or the relative of your best friend.
This is high spiritual work and an honor, though it may not feel like it at the time. You may find it difficult to understand why your very presence
seems to irritate this person, or why everything you say seems to draw a negative reaction or defense posture
from them. It will seem as though you are being as clear as possible when you speak, but they simply do not
hear what you are saying. In fact, they often think you are saying the exact opposite of what you are indeed
trying to communicate, or feeling something different than what you say you are feeling.
If you are not triggered into past reactions but they are, you
may instead be serving as a catalyst for them; you are their "distanced manifestation". They do not hear or see you
clearly because the person you are is clouded -- well, overlaid is a good word -- by the image of the person from
the past which you are mirroring for them and/or the situation from the past which needs healing.
Is the Coyote Dancing? I understand this kind of encounter to be a type of Heyokah Medicine, also known as Trickster Energy or Coyote Medicine.
If you are unfamiliar with Heyokah energies,
I'd suggest reading up on Native American spirituality because The Trickster (Heyokah) visits everyone and it's valuable
to recognize the Coyote when he is teaching you about the folly of ingrained habits.
Whether you are experiencing the distancing of manifestation in your own life or providing distancing for another,
the same tips apply. Remember that it is not our job to manipulate the energies of others by trying to figure out what the lesson is for
the other person, and/or trying to get them to see the lesson.
Our spiritual work in healing the past or mirroring for another who is releasing past trauma is to allow the lesson to unfold, while
monitoring our own behavior and responses to them, and learning our own lessons from within that context.
Whether the other person ever "gets it" is not to be our concern, and we may not even know what "it" is for
them. Godforce is simply utilizing the current level of awareness in both our personality selves to present
an opportunity for growth.
Featured Spiritual Wellness Resource: Releasing Your Past - Release Abandonment Issues
Relationship Health Disclaimer: Relationship counseling may be beneficial in cases where you recognize that you have distanced the manifestation as a way of allowing you the opportunity of healing the past. This article is not intended to replace relationship counseling but to help identify some of the reasons you may have unconsciously recreated the past in some way. This is an entirely spiritual approach to a situation and you may also need to embrace marriage counseling or some other form of mental health assistance if there are emotional issues which are challenging your close relationship with others.