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Ask A Healer Spiritual Wellness Series


Dealing with Difficult People

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Abundance: The New Way




Spiritual Mastery over Negative People

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Suggested Reading:
being in the flow

fear attracts fear

Question on spiritual healing:
How do I deal with negative people in my life and keep them from bringing me down too?

Healing facilitation response:
You know how it feels when you are around someone negative? It feels draining, doesn't it? That's because it really is a drain, at an emotional, mental and spiritually energetic level. When in the presence of a person who sees the glass as completely empty and also chipped or broken, it can feel irritating or dangerous. It feels irritating if you are on an upward spiral in your own life and don't enjoy that vibration but there is some nagging part of you that knows you have a resonation with it as well, perhaps only a soul sliver of remembrance but something... it can feel dangerous if there is something unhealed in you, regarding the area of their negativity.

A random few moments with a sour puss, at a store counter or in a restaurant, isn't going to radically affect most peoples lives. However, if you are married to or working with a very negative person, and you have to see them every day, the stress of that can eventually become physically draining as well. You may experience insomnia, more stress and less joy. You may experience mental fatique and emotional turmoil at even being happy when they never seem to be happy. A random person, you can walk away from and ponder the interaction in a peaceful setting. With a mate or a boss / fellow employee, sometimes walking away isn't an easy option. What do you do?

What many people do, whether consciously or unconsciously is, block the energy. They create a sort of energetic shell around themselves, perhaps with meditation, affirmations or prayer. And it does work but there's a cost. It takes energy to block energy and it's like protecting a bank vault in that one must be vigilant about the integrity of the wall at all times. It's perfectly correct to retreat when feeling overwhelmed by the negative energy of another person or to place an energetic shield between you if perspective is distorted and you feel ourself being negatively impacted. More on spiritual protection

However, beyond the temporary fix of shielding, blocking and protecting yourself, there is another option. You can learn how to allow those energies to meet the Divine Godforce energy flowing thru you and when that happens, there will be no further need to block or avoid. Whatever the Divine of you meets in any moment, could be met with love and without personal ego being jerked around by the energy of another. It is experiential, this shift in consciousness. The way you discover it is by taking action and observing the results.

To begin, start reminding yourself that Universal Lifeforce Energy is limitless. Therefore, if you are feeling drained it has to be due to offering, usually unconsciously, your own life energy to the negative people in your life who feed on it. Learning to notice at the first sign of being impacted is vital for it is in that moment of awareness you may simply choose to lift away from any victim vibration. Remind yourself that you have access to a limitless supply of Godforce energy and make a conscious choice to offer only that in interactions with other beings.

As you begin to notice the moment you allow your energy to meet the energy of a negative person and form a partnership (usually an emotional partnership based on guilt, shame, fear or ego needs) a shift in consciousness may happen in the noticing. This often subtle but always potent shift opens options that were not available before. An awareness shift, to inviting Godforce energy to meet the negativity, will allow you to become aware of yourself as a clear, open vessel thru which unconditional love flows outward. Nothing can drain God; nothing negative can long endure in the presence of Universal Lifeforce Energy.

If a negative energy effects us a lot, it may be due to a resonant negativity within ourselves that needs to be cleared, we may have unconsciously decided that we are alone in facing it or we have something our ego needs out of the continued dysfunctional interaction. When I say this to my partners in healing, sometimes I encounter angry responses. For example, if someone is in an abusive situation, it's hard for them to believe they resonate with that. I understand. I have abuse in my background too.

Yet, once I spiritually awakened, and had enough healing around it to look my life from a spiritual level, I realized that I chose my father and that abuse was just one of several choices he cound have made. I took a chance on him and agreed to participate in his and my own soul evolution. We make agreements before coming, to be with certain people who agree to be with us. Understanding and accepting that took me decades of adulthood so I don't expect someone who is just beginning to deal with abuse to get it. I know what it's like to build walls. I know it's sometimes necessary. I also know the walls have to come down if I'm to live in the world as a fully empowered spiritual being.

Abuse is a stubborn form of persistent, negative reinforcement that affects thinking and feeling on profound levels. Abuse installs a pattern of belief, at a cellular level, especially if repetitive over time, which is usually the case. This imbedded belief system is literally in the cells which is what makes it so hard to recognize it and shift it sometimes and why that same shift can happen so rapidly once we do shine the light of awareness into ourselves. Our body has a physiological response to being violated and that is cellular. The body response becomes part of the emotional and mental response and it often takes years of self-healing to change those patterns.

Abuse is a severe form of manipulation that can affect our energy field. However, at a more subtle level, any negative energy seeking to create negative response is abusive and can set up a belief system and partnership that continues uninterrupted until awareness is brought into the situation. The truth is that something within us draws our experience, always. We may not be abusers or actively want abuse but if we are unconscious of the way belief systems were set in us early on by abuse, we function at levels of fear, protection, and confusion. The vibration, or sound waves of energy, that emanate from us are from that bandwidth so it tends to affirm what we walk each day in fear of encountering. We draw what we fear.

Additionally, if we allow ourselves to slip into any kind of vibration that is within the same bandwidth with abuse (this can include judgment, bitterness, unresolved anger, fear, etc.), we become far more attractive to potential abusers, vibrationally speaking. A wild animal can sense fear. The abuser is like a wild animal. If we forget what flows thru us, we begin allowing our personal energy to be drained by abusers, negative people and events. If we wander into fear and out of love, we drain our own personal energy trying to protect or guard ourselves and are also cut off from source, a more stressful situation than the former.

Relieving stress and anxiety naturally


Health Disclaimer: Nothing in this article should be seen as representing any replacement for proper mental health and emotional health evaluation and treatment if you have been abused. Abuse can affect every aspect of your life and the results are far-reaching so please seek the proper support for your healing if in an abusive situation or suffering from the residual effect of childhood abuse.